journal
Maxime Jaz
I write books about men falling in love in various settings and times.
I write books about men falling in love in various settings and times.
So, I self-published my first novel "Fall" on 31st March. It was a surreal day, as I had waited nearly 34 years to have my own book out into the world. Life happened, as they say, from that playground dream of a 10-year-old scribbling in a notebook some Star Wars fanfic. One day, I'll write a book and people will read it. Well, this day was 31st March 2021.
I chose self-publishing, after months and months of reading on the subject, roaming the posts on Twitter's WritingCommunity, because the more I read, the more convinced I got that my books, and whatever genre they are, are probably not made for traditional publishing (I could write pages about why I think there is no such thing as traditional publishing, just publishing, with this amazing opportunity that self-publishing offers to creators). I am a proud self-publisher. Not a failed query artist. The journey has been interesting. Learning Canva to make my promos, grow my social media, observe, exchange, have new friends, support, which has been invaluable, and still is, in my writing journey. An unwavering support from my brother, who is not cis het, who had nothing to do with gay romance, and became my beta reader, my cover designer and trailer creator, my most fervent supporter. I had to learn KDP, how to format an ebook, how to upload it. Fortunately for the paperback typesetting, I stumbled on Reedsy and never looked back. They did an amazing job, all for free. Six hours to create a cover in Kindle cover creator, but I think I could do it now in 10 minutes. All uploaded onto KDP in amazon, enrolled in KU, weeks before release. I am doing the promo now, IndieApril is on us too, and I am quietly confident. I have no goals, but to get the story out to readers, hoping that this is the book somebody has been waiting for. Hoping to touch hearts. "Fall" is a big book, more than 500 pages. A big read with big emotions. It is categorized as MM romance, but it is so much more. So many layers and drama. If you don't shy away from a long love story, sex, drama, a dash of darkness, then this book might just be for you.
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There's heavy content in all of my books, I will not deny it, nor sugar-coat it. Whilst they all revolve around a love story, most of my characters have some sort of trauma to deal with, or hardships to face in life, and emotions toil heavily, like a raging sea.
My Ancient Rome trilogy is especially heavy, both in content and pressure on the reader, or so does my alpha reader say, who is chewing through Book One. He said he has to stop reading sometimes, and digest the content. As he's put it today: "Your book is like peanut butter. It is delicious and intriguing in taste, but hard to swallow." He has also called the book a "psycho-mind-fuck-neuro-terror"... What can I say? If reading it creates all these emotions, I have already won, right? The upcoming book has been qualified as a roller-coaster of emotions, with some hard descents, but at least giving the reader some sweet respite. I hope to release this one soon and have you along for the ride. Why tackle length? I should stop reading anything that has to do with writing "rules"... As ever, I won't follow the one on length either... I write as much as I have in me for that story and then put my files together. The final word count will reveal itself then. I have roughly 6 to 8 pages per paragraph, and I write in Calibri font 11... This gives you an idea how big my books are, or will be. The upcoming book is close to 400 pages with this font size, and I am not going to divide it in two.
For me, this is a standard page count for a book and it can go up to 600 or more, so I am not obsessing over word count or page numbers, it is the story that dictates, my characters, my raging heart and imagination. You name it. My books will take time to read, and they are to be savoured slowly, maybe curled up in a sofa, because, as every roller coaster, they start slow, and the next thing you know, you are having the ride of your life. I gave first my brother my book to read because he matters the most to me and I know for a fact he would be honest. We don't hide the truth from each other and are always brutally honest in telling each other the truth. He is also not a guy who would typically pick up an LGBTQ novel, as he is cis straight.
As he progressed with the reading, he made small comments on how the characters spoke to him, small things he mentioned about the story, the plot. All positive and encouraging. Then, this morning, he sent me a screenshot of the last page. An emotional moment so I rang him (he lives far and we can't see each other much). I can't give back here his words, it was a 2-hours conversation, but he was floored by the book and had fallen in love with it, despite it being a love story between two men, to which he couldn't relate emotionally. This was not an issue though, as the story contains so many other elements, plot twist and drama, that he got sucked into it. To quote him: "Your book is written from the heart, you can tell, it's like the Fibonacci spiral of life. The characters' evolution is amazing and there are so many layers, I want to read it again, just to catch the nuances I might have missed because I wanted to progress with the story." We talked about scenes in the book which gave him emotional blows. Later, he sent me a message: "When I started reading your book, I said to myself I'd read it, because I promised. But it wasn't difficult because it's great and sweeps you away." I do hope to publish it in June at the latest, and I hope it will sweep you away too. Vast topic... so, I thought a lot about the genre my writing could fit in, the obvious one being M/M romance but then, having read some of those books, I'm having second thoughts...
My books are love stories between men, so yes, they could fit, except they don't because they don't follow the typical romance arch, as the hurdles my main characters go through can be rough and dark. There is a whole world around them and events happen that would probably not be included in a typical romance book. So, erotica then? There's sex, right? Yes, but...not so much as to call it erotica (hence the expression "laced with erotica"). In my current WIP, there's no sex at all until...I don't even know, I'm not that far yet. Sure, there are flashbacks, allusions to it, but nothing happened yet between the main guys and I'm half-way through. Then, the settings and times. I have several WIP. The finished novel is contemporary, so is the current WIP, but there's also a fantasy one, and one set in Ancient Rome, and a sci-fi brewing. Multi-genre, then? But they are all about guys falling in love and daring to love. Maybe they are just outside the box... To be honest, I haven't thought about putting labels on them until I found out there are labels...and maybe I won't, at all. Lots of disclaimers to come, I can feel it :) Just to make sure the readers pick the right book. Twisted love tales. That might fit... Yes and yes. There are animals and kids in my books, all have a crucial play in my characters' life and are not there as accessories. They do add an emotional dimension to whatever is going on, and in my upcoming book, a certain cat will almost have a fate determining role. Sounds a bit like a fairy tale? But life is, in a way. All the connections I had with all my animals feed these stories and some are very personal (you won't know this as the reader but might guess). Some writers will not put pets or kids in their books, but if you like them, you'll have plenty in mine.
There were several posts on Twitter on writing process, how writers write, tips and tricks, which have triggered this post. I was mildly comforted to find writers who have a similar process, meaning that they "dream up" or have "movies play in their heads/minds" because this is what happens to me. I think in pictures, I have a brain which sees in pictures, thinks in pictures and I have a photographic memory which is a blessing and a curse at the same time in me every day life and my day job.
I don't sit down to face a plan, an excel sheet, a story planner app or software (does such a thing even exist?). I sit down when the urge of writing down the scenes in my head becomes so strong that I just have to write. It is an exhausting yet thrilling process, the words will just churn out, pour from my fingers and, sometimes, when I re-read myself, I am a bit puzzled at what I wrote. This has the distinct disadvantage of the whole writing process stopping when the "film" stops and then I just wait until it starts playing again. I sometimes try to gently coax my "movie director" muse to continue, dreaming up pictures, scenes, so the wait can be more or less long or short, depending on my fickle muse's spirit and work ethic. Of course, as a cheeky being, it sometimes starts a brand new movie, distracting me from my WIP and then I have to write those new scenes down... This is why I have so many WIP, sitting patiently, waiting for me to pick up the thread. I imagine my characters just lounging, waiting to "play" again, a lingering guilt inside of me, that I am letting them sit and wait whilst my muse and I chase each other and play games. "I should continue and finish the Romans..." "No, Max, not yet...I have new scenes, watch..." "We're not even done with this one yet..." "Doesn't matter. This is what you have to write about now..." No, I'm not crazy, just having a "film" about my muse. Should I write about it? I write fiction and this should say it all, really. Whilst I make a reasonable effort to research jobs my characters have, or times they live in, it is fiction at the end, and not non-fiction. I may get things wrong or not totally accurate, and to me, this is fine, because the main story line is still my characters falling in love and ploughing through life with all its challenges.
There will always be an expert out there who will know better than I do and pinpoint mistakes out, and that's fine. If this is how you choose to read fiction, who am I to judge you in any way. Feel free to write to me, I like learning from my mistakes. My stories are mean to make you feel, to entertain, to take you somewhere else, maybe also out of your comfort zone. Hopefully, to dare you to live your life to the full, maybe get inspired. I don't have pretensions. If you like my book, it is already a win. I write tales of love because love is powerful and should not be reserved to anybody. Love is universal and the driving force of our whole world. It is the single best thing that can happen to a human being. Love and be loved. Dare to love against all odds. The characters in my books are flawed, as every human being, and have struggles and emotions. My works in progress don't have super handsome billionaire jerks waiting to be rescued by the "grey mouse" clumsy youngster who turns out to have Stockholm syndrome. If this is your preferred story, you might want to look elsewhere.
My main characters have all sorts of sides, sometimes deep hurts, which will influence their relationships. How you see these relationships is up to you. I also write about grief, emotional pain, and trauma, which might trigger you, but there will always be a disclaimer for any of my books, so you know what you will face. I have to write a few lines on this because I feel it's important to inform the reader what awaits them in my worlds. I used the term "romance laced with erotica" on purpose, because that's exactly how much sex you will find in my books.
My characters have sex, of course, and sometimes it's quite passionate, but sometimes, you will just get a hint at it without any further detailed action. If you are looking for pure erotica, or mainly erotica, or raunchy, anatomically precise sex scenes, then you might be disappointed. That being said, there are plenty of great authors who write just that, I am just not one of them. If you're looking for sex as part of love stories, then you are in the right place. |
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